Watermelon Jalapeno Limeade

I know it sounds messed up. My husband really liked it. I kinda liked it. Maybe if I had added the Vodka I would have really liked it but I don't drink so there goes that idea.

Recipe

4 cups of Watermelon
2 limes
2 Jalapenos sliced and seeded
1/4C Squirt (it said Vodka but I say squirt seems kicky enough - I know I live on the edge huh?)

Stick your Watermelon and juice of limes and squirt or vodka into a blender and let er'rip. Then throw in your jalapenos and let it soak for about 30 mins. Take out your jalapenos and serve over ice.

So, I'll say this the jalapenos don't really add heat because you took out the seeds and you're not even eating the jalapenos. It just sort of adds an essence.

Like I said my husband thought it was great I thought it was just okay.

Candied Jalapenos

This is another recipe I grabbed of the world wide web. Candied Jalapenos?! C'mon I had to give it a go. I am SO glad I did. Here is her recipe.
I halved it. I wasn't sure what I could possibly do with that many candied jalapenos and I wanted to be sure they were loved and adored by my family before I went candy crazy. I now know I will make the full batch next time and maybe even double it. But just so you know this worked beautifully halved.

•3 pounds fresh, firm, jalapeno peppers, washed
•2 cups cider vinegar
•6 cups white granulated sugar
•1/2 teaspoon turmeric
•1/2 teaspoon celery seed
•3 teaspoons granulated garlic
•1 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper

Remove the stems from your jalapenos and slice them up about 1/4 slices. You can wear gloves for this and I wont make fun of you but I truly didn't find a need as long as I kept my hands to myself and washed really well afterwards.

In a large pot, bring cider vinegar, white sugar, turmeric, celery seed, granulated garlic and cayenne pepper to a boil, a good boil.
Reduce heat and simmer for 5 minutes. Add the pepper slices and simmer for exactly 4 minutes.
Use a slotted spoon to transfer the peppers, into clean, sterile canning jars to within 1/4 inch of the upper rim of the jar. Turn heat up under the pot with the syrup and bring to a full rolling boil. Boil hard for 6 minutes.

Use a ladle to pour the boiling syrup into the jars over the jalapeno slices. Insert a cooking chopstick to the bottom of the jar two or three times to release any trapped pockets of air. Adjust the level of the syrup if necessary. Wipe the rims of the jars with a clean, damp paper towel and fix on new, two-piece lids to finger-tip tightness.

If you have leftover syrup, and it is likely that you will, you may can it in half-pint or pint jars, too. It’s wonderful brushed on meat on the grill or added to potato salad or, or, or… In short, don’t toss it out!

Place jars in a canner, cover with water by 2-inches. Bring the water to a full rolling boil. When it reaches a full rolling boil, set the timer for 10 minutes for half-pints or 15 minutes for pints. When timer goes off, use canning tongs to transfer the jars to a cooling rack. Leave them to cool, undisturbed, for 24 hours. When fully cooled, wipe them with a clean, damp washcloth then label.

Allow to mellow for at least two weeks, but preferably a month before eating.
Right like my family can wait that long?!

IF you half this like I did you're only going to end up with about 2 pint jars and again I didn't think that was worth processing because I know my husband will snarf these down quickly if I keep them in the frige.

However, when I make the full batch I'll can them and probably do half pint jars because I think they would make great little gifts.

You can eat these as is and they are yummy or you can add them to sandwiches or burgers and they are still yummy.

Raspberry Jalapeno Jelly

mmmmm raspberries

My favorite berry makes another appearance. This jelly is divine and easy. I followed this recipe exactly. A few tips though. I had to let mine get to a good true violent rolling boil. If it's not really rolling then you're going to get delicious raspberry jalapeno sauce which is equally delicious and a great glaze for meats but if you want jelly let it roll baby roll.

1 whole Green Bell Pepper
1 cup Raspberries (fresh Or Frozen)
5 whole Jalapeno Peppers
3 cups Sugar
¾ cups Cider Vinegar
3 ounces, fluid Liquid Pectin

Remove seeds from peppers or if you like it hot leave the seeds in, or if you like it kinda hot but not super duper hot leave half of them in. Dice up all your pepers nice and small about 1/4inch pieces. Place raspberries, peppers, sugar, and vinegar in a large saucepan. Bring to a boil. No really let them BOIL.

Continue to boil for 1 minute (I needed to let mine boil for more than 1 minute - I boiled it for like 3-4mins). Remove from heat and allow to cool for approximately 5 minutes. Stir in pectin. Strain mixture through a fine strainer to remove pieces of peppers. Pour into sterilized jars.

Seal and process for 10 minutes.

Okay here's the deal. If you are making one batch of this and you're using pint jars you're only going to get maybe one or one and half full pint jars. Which begs the question why process it? Just stick it in your fridge and eat use that sweet hot goodness. If you are using smaller half pint jars and gifting these (and please remember me on your gift list) then process them. Still I think I would make a couple of batches of this just to justify the canning process.

Dollup this on top of cream cheese and serve with crackers and you're the belle of the ball.

Chuy's inspired Dip

Thursday night was Girls Night Out. I love GNO. We went to Chuy's and then for a swim at Barton Springs. If you're in the are I recommend both.
I'm going out on a limb here and I fully realize I may be booted out of TX for this but in general I think Texas Mexican food stinks. There I said it and furthermore I stand by it. It's not that great. They pour so much queso on everything and I hate to break it to them but thats nothing more than velveta and some salsa and that doesn't impress me. Chuy's however is one of the Texas Mexican places I actually like. I LOVE me some Chuy's Creamy Jalapeno Ranch Dressing. After GNO (almost typed GNR - Welcome to the Jungle!) I knew I wanted to try this as my first jalapeno recipe.
I searched around and found a bunch of different copy cat versions. Some of them called for sour cream, some called for a bottle of ranch dressing and some called for mayo. I hate mayo. I hate the smell, I hate the feel, I hate the look. It's just icky to me. But so many of the recipes called for atleast some of it I decided I would compromise and do half mayo half sour cream. Sour Cream I love. My theory is everything is better with sour cream. Go ahead name a food and I bet it's better with sour cream. I like fresh over processed so this is the combination of recipes that made me the most happy.
1c Sour Cream
1c Mayo (mayo not miracle whip)
1/2C chopped Cilantro
2cloves crushed garlic
3 Jalapenos cored and seeded and diced up super small (I left about half the seeds in because I like a kick)
1 lime juiced
1/2 package of Ranch Dressing Mix (you know the dry powdery stuff)
dash of salt
2tablespoons buttermilk

Mix stir love enjoy.

It was good. My husband gushed. BUT, I could taste the mayo. I hate mayo remember? When I make this again I will stick to my guns and cut out the mayo.

Jalapenos!!!

Jalapenos are the flavor of the week. I'm in Texas I think it's almost a requirement or something that I be able to cook with these little devils. Some jalapeno information I've gleened;
It's the seeds and the ribs that contain the bulk of the heat. If you cut those out you cut out the majority of the heat.
Heat sticks. If you cut a jalapeno prepare for the heat juices to be on your fingers until a good good good washing. Some people wear gloves when cooking. I guess this is a good idea. I just don't touch my nose, eyes, or mouth while I'm cutting them up. Really isn't that just good cooking ettiquet. If you're wiping your nose a lot or picking at your eye maybe take a cooking break because eww thats just nasty.
The jalapeno was the first pepper to be taken into space. Why? I have no clue. I also question the person whos job it is to keep track of these things. I could totally do that job.
Five jalapeno recipes to come.

Lemon Curd

Lemon Curd - not lemon crud as my fingers keep wanting to type. This is a result of my friend Maggie Facebooking about lemon curd, lemon curd lemon curd. I looked through her site for her recipe but didn't find it so I searched and melted and mingled a combination of a few recipes for this one.

3/4c Lemon Juice
Zest of 1 Lemon
3/4C Sugar
3 Eggs
1/2c Butter

Couple of things; Already said this but use real lemon juice, but also real butter. I once heard margarine is more closely related to the make up of plastic than food. I'm not sure if that's true but it taste horrific. Don't use it. Don't feed it to your kids. Butter baby. mmmmm butter.

Now you could cook this with a double boiler and feel fancy shmancy. But I don't have a double boiler. And Lemon Curd seems fancy shmancy enough so why overdo it?
The reason a lot of recipes say double boiler is because you don't want lemon and scrambled eggs and if you plop some eggs into a hot lemony pan of goodness you're going to get scrambled lemon eggs. So, people go the double boiler way. But there is another way and I like it.

Take the butter and sugar and cream them up in your mixer. Then add the eggs one at a time and incorporate them fully. Everything will look lovely and soft and yellow. Then add your zest and juice and mix it up a bit more.

NOW let's cook it. Pour that lovely lemony mix into your pot and cook it on medium. Note I said medium, not medium high, not high medium, just medium. Cook it on medium and stir it. Don't stop stirring it. Okay you can stop to find the little one her binky or kick the dog out but don't walk away. Stir it on MEDIUM for about 15 minutes. It will start to get thick and delicious. When it starts to get thick and deliciously sticky on your spoon then you're golden. Pour it into a pint jar cover it up let it cool and really thicken up. Then my friend you are ready for lemon curd joy. Biscuits, scones, cakes, cupcakes, pancakes, crepes, lather it on and have your tiara near by because you are going to feel like your pedigree just came in and you are now Princess Lemonbottom of Curdshire.

Creamy Lemon Pasta

Delilah told me about this great lemon pasta recipe she has. But I couldn't remember it. This is an improvised version.

3 Chicken Breasts
2 Lemons

5C Chicken Broth
2tsp Garlic Powder
1tsp salt
Dash o' Pepper
Juice of 1 Lemon
1pkg dried Pasta

2C Half and Half
1C Frozen Peas
Zest from 1 Lemon

I cooked my chicken in a pressure cooker. I slapped those breasts with a little salt. Cut up the lemons and juiced them into the pot then threw the cut up lemons in, a touch of water and cooked them up in a jiffy. If you don't have a pressure cooker get one! It makes cooking up chicken a dream.

Cube up the chicken. I set my cooked chicken aside but saved the broth that it had made. In a big pot I added the reserved broth and enough canned broth to get about 5 cups. Salt, pepper, garlic powder and the lemon juice makes the broth the perfect spa day for the pasta. Add the pasta and let it cook up until most of the liquid is gone.

Take it off the heat and then add chicken, half and half, zest and peas. Stir it up and even my kidlets ate it.

Things I would have done different? I think I would have roasted and added some walnuts with the chicken. I think the crunch would have been nice. You could also replace the peas with broccoli and even top with a little Parmesan if you like things cheese. I suppose you could use full cream but the lemon is so light and lovely I didn't want to make the sauce too heavy (or my thighs).

Raspberry Lemonade Bread

This is one of those inspired by recipes. I saw this recipe as I was surfing around and it looks incredible. I knew I wanted to make it. I also knew that I wanted to Tera-fy it. My favorite drink out is Raspberry Lemonade. Hands down my favorite berry of all, my favorite fruit of all is the raspberry. They blend perfectly with lemons so, I had to give it a try. I followed her recipe exactly except for this...

I took about 4TBS of Raspberries and a TBS of raw sugar and nuked that until they were soft and juicy and the physical representation of heaven in my kitchen. Then I added about a TBS of this yumness into each mini loaf. I just folded it in. I wanted it to ripple through the bread and not be totally incorporated.

The other twist I did was to add 1/4c of raspberries to the lemon juice sugar glaze. Oh my gravy boat! I made the mistake of trying this before I topped it on the cooled loaves. I could barely stop myself from downing it and going glaze less on the loaves. But don't it's totally worth it.

Try this!
I did a BOLD Italic on the things I added.


FOR THE CAKES:
½ cups Butter, Softened
1 cup Granulated Sugar
2 whole Eggs
1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
1 whole Large Lemon, Zested (about 5 Teaspoons Zest)It took me 2 lemons to get this
½ cups Sour Cream
1-½ cup All Purpose Flour, Sifted
1 teaspoon Baking Powder
¼ teaspoons Baking Soda
¼ teaspoons Salt
3 Tablespoons Milk
4TBS Raspberries
1TBS Raw Sugar
FOR THE GLAZE:
¼ cups Fresh Lemon Juice
½ cups Granulated Sugar
1/2c Raspberries

Preheat oven to 350ºF. Spray mini pans with nonstick cooking spray and set aside.

In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Stir in eggs, vanilla, lemon zest and sour cream. Scrape the sides and mix again. With the mixer on low speed, incorporate all dry ingredients until just combined, then stir in the milk. Scrape the sides and mix a few more times by hand. Spoon batter equally into prepared pans. Nuke raspberries and raw sugar until warm and lovely, about 30 seconds. Fold in a TBS of Raspberry and Raw Sugar mixture into each loaf. Bake 15-20 minutes or until edges are golden brown and are baked thoroughly. I used Pampered Chef clay mini loaf pan and it took about 25 minutes.
While lemon loaves are baking, mix ingredients together for the glaze and microwave on high for 2 minutes, stirring every 20 seconds or so to dissolve the sugar into the lemon juice. The glaze is done once the sugar has dissolved.

Once loaves come out of the oven, cool at least 15 minutes before removing from the pans. Spoon glaze over the loaves and continue to cool completely. Store in airtight containers until ready to serve.

Muddy Lemonade

It sounds boozey doesn't it? It's addictive but not alcoholic. This is inspired by the Alamo Drafthouse. They serve a brown sugar lemonade and after I had it I had to figure it out. Again, this is super easy and so yum.

1 1/2c squeezed lemon juice
1c water
1c brown sugar (I like dark)
1/2tsp vanilla

Here's the thing I like my lemonade more tart than sweet. If you like it more sweet then add up to 1/2c more sugar.
Combine water, vanilla and sugar together to make a simple syrup. You could cook it over the stove slowly stirring and stirring and stirring until the sugar dissolves but why? That's why we have microwaves. Nuke that bad boy for a minute. Stir it up and if the sugar isn't dissolved nuke it another minute.
Then pull out your pitcher add the lemon juice and syrup you just made. Fill it up with about 8 cups of water (more or less depending on how concentrated you like it.
Let it chill.
Pour a glass and then you can chill.

Coconut Lemon Bars

You're hooked already huh? I know I was too. Figures I start with a dessert.

Recipe
1 1/2c flour
1/2c powdered sugar
3/4c cold butter
4 eggs
1 1/4c sugar
3/4c lemon juice
1tsp baking powder
zest from 1 lemon
1c flaked coconut divided

This is easy peasy. Take the flour, the powdered sugar, 1/4c of the flaked coconut and the cut up cold butter and mix them together. Not in a mixer, no need to get fancy. Use your hands or if you must a pastry cutter. When it's nice and crumbly stick it in a 9x9 pan and press it down. Let it cook at 350 for 15 minutes.

While that is getting it's yum on mix the eggs, sugar, lemon juice and baking powder together. I used my Kitchen Aid and whisked it for a few minutes until it was creamy goodness.
Let me stop here for a moment and say a word about lemon juice. Just juice your lemons yourself. Go buy a bag of lemons and juice them. Get out your frustrations on those little globes of sunshine. For the love of all that is good and holy do NOT use bottled lemon juice. It doesn't compare and you're cheating yourself and lemon growers everywhere if you do.
If I can do it you can do it.

Okay now your crust is beeping at you. Take it out and pour the lemon concoction on top. Set your timer for 15 minutes and bake away at 350. When the timer dings don't turn the oven off. Sprinkle the rest of your shredded coconut on the top and let it bake another 10 minutes.

Pull it out and try to hold yourself back. The more you let them cool the better they will set up for you. If you cant wait, like me, grab a fork because they will be a little gooey. If your family doesn't devour them and you let them cool they will be barish (that's a word right?).

La la la Lemon

This weeks flavor of the week is lemon.
My friend Delilah is big into aromatherapy. She once told me that if you are constantly drawn to a particular scent that your body is craving some property of that. I am constantly drawn to citrus scents. Usually it's grapefruit smells but this week it was lemon. I looked it up and apparently lemons have calming properties and help to bring balance and clarity. If that's the case I should be drawn to lemon 24/7.
Lemon wisdom for you;
Nuke a lemon for a few seconds and roll it hard on the counter before you juice it. You'll get way more juice out of it.
Take the lemon rinds and stuff a few in the garbage disposal. It makes it smell yumalicious.
Women used to put lemon juice on their lips to make them pink up. I tried this and didn't notice pink.

How I Roll

Okay before we begin let me make a couple of things clear.
1. I am not a great cook. There are times I don't even like to cook. Don't come to my house and expect gourmet food. You'll get Cheese Nips.
2. I am not a recipe genius. I don't dream up recipes in my spare time. Don't call me up and say, "I have an apple and a can of olives, what can I do with that." You'll get the number to pizza delivery.
3. I am not a foodie. I don't know how many different types of potatoes grow in North America. Don't expect proper cooking terms. You'll get thingamajig and whatchamacallit.

But...

1. I do love a challenge. I like to try something new and see if I can conquer it. If I can be creative while doing it all the better.
2. I can follow a recipe. Throw a recipe at me and I can usually make it with some tweaks or additions that make it yummy to my family or me.
3. I am trying to impress my family. I can't promise success but I get a charge when I make something and my family loves it. But if they don't and I do, it's still a win.

So, my plan with this is a new feature flavor each week. I'm going to try three to five different recipes featuring that flavor and I'll share here. I'll post the recipe, and give credit if I got it from someone. I'll share what I learned and tell you if I liked it or my family liked it or if miracle upon miracle we all liked it. I'll even try to post pictures but I am not going to go all picture crazy. Seriously, if you need a picture of someone measuring a teaspoon of salt then you'll be disappointed.